Dear Pen Pal 7

Dear Pen Pal,

If you like cold cereal after a long night of sleeping, and who doesn't unless you're plagued with nightmares or apnea, I recommended you pick up a big bag of Western Family brand raisin bran at your local grocer. For five dollars you will get like twenty meals. That's extra money for pencils and erasers, Mr. Study. There are so many raisins in each bag it's as if their factory farms left extra fields of grapes out in the sun too long. If they were good grapes they'd be sold to wine makers but as it is since they suck they become the sugar coated raisins in a bag of bran flakes, i.e. raisin bran.

One of my favorite channels on cable television is the scrolling channel guide. On mainland American guide channels they always run commercials and other crap at the top half of the screen. It burns me up. But here they play aloha music and the scroll runs all the way up the screen and there ain't no blasted commercials. Hell I can sit in the kitchen and type away while listening to the scrolling guide channel happy as The Cure in rainy Hawaii.

Speaking of the rain, woo doggie. The sewer break has given the Ala Wai canal some floaties. Me, I like this weather as long as I'm not out in it. When I get wet, I get super powers. Witches melt and vampires sizzle if it's been blessed by a priest but I gain the ability to reverse the laws of gravity and inertia. Practically this means fanfare in the sack. I like the air temperature as well.

Sincerely,
Dude