Dear Pen Pal 4

Dear Penpal,

That is very interesting that your friend does comics and it's even more interesting that the comics are X-rated. I wish him success.

It has been a busy week for me. I walked up and down Kalakaua and collected all the flyers that people hand out. Some are for restaurants, menus and coupons. Some are for gun clubs. For a fee they will give you a big freakin flamethrower and let you burn down a small grass thatch hut, all island lei style. Or you can get a submachine gun and spray ammunition all over the place like a bunch of cold and flu germs at the salad bar. I haven't used this service yet because I wanted to try a grenade launcher like the one Arnold Schwarzenegger used in his address to the California state congress last weekend, but the gun club said grenade launchers were illegal. Whatever. This is America, Jack.

There were some other flyers that had pictures of cute girls on them but unfortunately I couldn't read them because they were written in Korean. There was a phone number to call but something tells me if I do that it will cost a lot of money, and if I'm going to spend that much I may as well go to the gun club for puppy night.

Affectionately yours, &c.