Dear Pen Pal

Hello, my name is Duder. I am a 40 year old ex-military man from a country that is called Turkey, but that's just in English. We have our own name for our country in our own language. In reality my country has nothing to do with the flightless unintelligent albeit tasty birds that Americans serve for their Thanksgiving dinners. That is simply an accident of language. I read once that American founding father Benjamin Franklin proposed that the turkey should be the new country's national symbol. Someone else suggested the eagle. How ironic it would have been had the turkey been adopted. Nevertheless allow me to reiterate that turkeys have nothing to do with Turks.

In the military I blew a bunch of stuff up. It was cool.

I enjoyed reading how your hometown is famous for producing of cars. I notice that you have a Honda factory. Well that's okay because Hondas are good cars. They are very popular but in Turkey we like American muscle cars from the 1970s. Sometimes people call them "gas guzzlers" because they require a lot of fuel or "pimp-mobiles" for reasons we won't go into. Mine doesn't have hydraulics but I'm saving up for them. If only I didn't gamble so much I'd have more money.