The Morning Hooray Show

"Now that's a pumpkin milk shake," said Matt Lapper, wiping the cream from the corner of his mouth. "Next on Hooray is our guests. They're a young rock band with some surprisingly big news. Katie?"
"That's right, Matt. With us today is last night's winner for Best New Artist. Congratulations, Dis Dane and the members of Trial Worthwhile."
"Thank you," said the band. They were seated on a long forest green couch next to the anchor table. Dis Dane was playing with his shaggy black hair. He darted his stare around the studio.
"Was it a surprise to get the award?" asked Katie BoRics. "How do you feel?"
"A bit jumpy," Dis Dane said. "This guy at Christina Ricci's gave me some E about three hours ago. It was still dark."
"Some what?" she asked.
"Thank you for having us on the show!" he said enthusiastically. "I really am very pleased."
"Well thank you, it's our pleasure. Now if I could ask the young man with the drumsticks, what was it like, I mean, you guys just basically went from jamming in a basement, in Wyoming!, to winning a grammy in, what, nine months," said Katie BoRics.
"Yes, it was the gestation of the band," said Dis Dane, frontman of the aforesaid biznand, believe that. "It's a good thing we didn't have an abortion, cause if you kill a baby, you may be killing its future record deal. Don't every zygote got a chance to wear bling?"
"That's certainly one way of putting it," Katie said with a quick chuckle. "But the grammy award, I mean, it hardly gets bigger than that."
"No, it hardly gets bigger than that," Dis Dane said indicating a meter between his hands. "And I should know. But the award, it was like grabbing the music industry by the balls. It was like we squeezed it in our fist and bit it off. Like we ripped its balls off, Katie Couric." He made a growly face at camera two, the close-up. "Metaphorically."
Katie's face froze a moment, then the director cut to the jolly thin weatherman.
END