Revenge of Announcey Pete

Hey missionaries! Instead of another boring year of teaching natives in poverty it's a sin to use birth control, why not try one of our new delicious Apple Pie Smoothies from the North Sea Smoothie Co.? We take real canned fruit drink and vanilla yogurt and throw it in a blender with some ice and a peeled golden apple. Then we bubble wrap it in a box and ship it to you. We found your address on ebay's shitlist. By the time you receive it, after traveling the country in the heat and dark, the smoothie will have a grown a layer of infectious mold. For this reason we will not ship to schools, workplaces, or post office boxes. Get ready for respiratory therapy.