The Butterfly Lanai 6

Mr. J could hardly believe the bengal tiger was real, it became so still and breathed so quietly. He drew his pistol from his suitcoat pocket and slid open the glass door.

"I hope you like Hollybrick Vine," said Mr. J. "It's fresh."

With a light step he flung the body on the lanai. It sprawled, landing on the tiger's tail, but the tiger didn't move.

"Please," Mr. J said, "there's no need to trouble me with your thoughts on the matter. Bon appetit. Make sure you get all the DNA out of the carpet."

"What, do you think the tiger's going to eat that man?"

The lanai of the next apartment over had a woman on it, name of Lorna. "He couldn't get all the DNA up," she said. "It's in the bones, the hair, it's everywhere."

Mr. J began sliding the door shut. He wasn't sure if she'd got a good look at him, and he was ready to run.

"Besides, that's no ordinary tiger," she said. "I heard him talking. You did too."

Lorna was 37 and in great shape. Her brunette hair was pulled back into twin ponytails whose ends tickled her shoulders. For the last decade she had been a food taster for the king of Zambizia. This granted her a pension and a room in the royal palace in Kuniz, the tropical capital. Her days were spent on walks through the pedicured gardens where she'd encounter babboons, the kind that smoked cigarettes and took naps when they were supposed to be on duty. The nobles were initiated to the inner circle and expelled just as quickly, but each year one found enough time away from wife and meetings to make Lorna his mistress. In the sack she would yell, "I'm an all-star, baby! All-star!"

"That tiger has no interest in killing," Lorna said around the corner, "not with its teeth and not with its paws. Far more terrible, its mind is its weapon. It tries to kill with its mind."

"By using existential arguments," said Mr. J. "It does a crackin good job."

"Step on out and let's have a look at you."

"I'll not be taken for that, siren!"

Lorna hopped over the railing and pushed her way past Mr. J inside. He slid the door behind him.

"You have a problem," said Lorna. "Lucky for you I live next door."