Hungry hungry headlines

Umps now state that technology's level of importance has been upgraded to All-Star.

Happenstance still leading whimsy in all nations except Great Britain.

Pathologic hell kitten purrs some sugar on drummer's stump.

Xianjian Ye glassed in Glaswegian pub.

In a stunning upset, humpback camels have defeated humpback whales on tests of higher brain functions, leapfrogging them from third to first as they pass the fictional French by default.

Clairvoyant meth addict foresees more meth.